After Forty Years
(Soon to be 41)
To you my love:
If Apples were pears, and peaches were plums,
And roses had a different name;
If tigers were bears, and fingers were thumbs,
I'd still love you just the same.
And, unlike like Tapol in the "Fiddler", I need not
ask "Do you love me?" For you have shown me in so many
ways. Your commitment to our relationship has been unconditional.
So many times that I can't count the ways. How can I begin to
tell you the depth of my feelings? I know it is there because
of the lump that grows in my throat when I try. So here's to all
the times we have had and more to come:
- And here it is 2010; so we continue to continue. The trip
to Rock Falls to visit our friend Phil with his bone cancer was
necessary. You remained the source of inspiration and information.
Wine tasting and a pin for my hat when we visited the Ronald
Reagan home in Dixon. Unfortunately it was so hot the evening
was cut short. The White Pines Restaurant & cottages were
interesting but the cap was the evening seminar from TNC Fitness
by Bryan Frederick to help with a new method of calorie counting
and weight loss to control my current diabetes diagnosis. What
- The Bell of Cincinnati was exciting. Then dinner at Montgomery
Inn Boat House for our 40th capped the year 2009. And now, another
year has begun in your loving care. Compression socks on my legs
every morning and removal every night brings pain to your arthritic
hands, yet you continue. It was November when I started the nose
bleeds (dry air, Oxygen and Aspirin was the cause the ENT said
when he cauterized the bleeders). Tripping over the O2 hose didn't
help either. I was sore for a month. And yet through it all you
- A year of recovery in 09. The exercising twice a week you
financed at FT (Fitness Together) is showing the promise that
I can soon be off the Oxygen during the day. Night time still
requires the BI-pap machine but without your insistence and help
I would not have made such progress. And so, I can look forward
to our all-day trip up river in October on the Bell of Cincinnati
(the DQ is a museum in Tennessee)
- And now the end is near; when I faced that final curtain
in April of 08, you received the 911 call from the sleep clinic
and rallied to my aid. They could not wake me and were sending
me to Jewish Hospital. I was blue and barely breathing. The ER
doctor assumed "Heart Attack" which was not the case.
The obstructive sleep apnea, the smoking and the Navy asbestos
had taken their toll and I was diagnosed with COPD. After 2 weeks
I came home with oxygen and a hose in my nose. So much for your
retirement plans you started in February. But you still managed
to help me achieve my goal to go to Superior in July of 08 and
attend the 35th AMSOIL convention. Two weeks on the road with
oxygen was a tribute to your tenacity and unspoken love.
- My 75th birthday in August at Mike's will be cherished in
my memory for years to come. So many of my friends showed to
wish us well. Thank you again for the arrangements.
- Our 35 anniversary trip to Bardstown Ky and the dinner train
before your surgery in January 2005.
- Our 2003 birthday trip to see our friends in Alaska
and the photo's of this "Fading Frontier"
- Our celebrated 30 th anniversary in Hawaii
on December 5th 2000.
- Our 25 anniversary in New Orleans where we renewed our wedding
vows on the Delta Queen.
- Our anniversary trip to England to visit our friends in Cornwall
and Kent plus the historic places in London and Windsor.
- The Landmark Forum in 1995 to clear my mind and help me get
back on track. (Although I suspect an ulterior motive, it makes
me smile and love you more). You have always done for others,
books for reference, food recipes, home remedies, and techniques;
always sharing your knowledge in such a unique care-giving way
that you are often misunderstood. I know I love you for these
ways because I hurt when you hurt and I feel anger when you are
- The renewed trust when you felt the pain in 71 when I failed
to share the loss of my job at Allis-Chalmers for the weekend.
My intentions were good but my method was lousy. Forgive me.
. . . .
I further thank you for just being you and I continue to thank
allowing me to share in the raising of your sons as my own
when mine were taken from me by a debilitating divorce and allowing
me to nurture them with you till they have reached their 30's
and now call me "DAD".
supporting our relationship and the financial efforts
when mine were lacking. I have tried to be a good provider but
life happens and turns things around. You carried the ball and
sacrificed so much with your time and your energy over the years.
And even now as you approach retirement you continue to concern
yourself with our financial well being.
continuing to continue through the hard times of having
a full time job, attending night college, being a mother to the
boys, my companion, raising a stepson in his teenage years, supporting
your own live-in mother and her loss. You have pushed and stabilized
this relationship almost to the point of injuring your health.
I feel ashamed and yet awed by your tenacity to remain with me.
I am truly a lucky man to have your friendship and love. I
find it difficult to express these feelings as I am sure you know.
Perhaps this simple acknowledgement of them will do:
To you my love, my steadfast companion, and life-long friend
I pledge a better commitment, a renewed faith in our future togetherness
and a golden time for living in these "October, November,
and December" years.
We were told to asks for something bigger than big at the seminar
tonight. There is no further need in my life. When I have you
by my side, I have it all (winning the lottery or the power ball
would be no good without you).
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Copyright Joe Davis 1996 - updated, Sept. 2010